Saturday, 22 March 2014

That Loud Naughty Toddler... Is Mine *sigh*

I never thought I'd have to write a post like this.
 
My children were always going to be angels and all sweetness and light in my head.
 
Kyd, Rocky, brothers, down syndrome, my life my son my way, cute, school photo,

I've always prided myself on the fact that being strict with Kyd over the years has made him the well behaved child he is today.

He may kick off for me at home but take him out of the house or give him to someone else for the day and he really is perfectly behaved, I have never had to worry about that because he knows with just one look that he needs to stop. I was proud of him, and me, for that.

As for Rocky...
Rocky, toddler, cute, my life my son my way,
Oh, Rocky, Rocky, Rocky...

I don't know what to do with him anymore.

He's not even 21 months yet and he seems to have me and everybody around us stumped with his behaviour as it is slowly getting worse.
 
He's not naughty as such, loud and curious and a bit hyper maybe but when you put all those together at once it can come off as naughty.

He has always been louder than you'd expect from something so small but that is gradually getting louder as he grows and it doesn't look like it will stop any time soon.

At three months he began to do this high pitched squeal, I can't quite put into words how high pitched it really is but it has been described of as 'Out of this world'.

He'd sit in his jumperoo at that young age and break our ears with glee whilst bouncing but because he was happy we were fine with that.

'I'd rather that than screaming in pain' I said
 
'But I hope he doesn't do it all the time, it is ear piercing' I said

'Ignore it and he'll stop' they said
 
'He'll stop doing it soon if you don't make a big deal out of it' they said
 
'It's a phase they all go through it'll pass' they said
 
LIES!!
 
Puppy, Dog, Toddler, Cute, walkies, my life my son my way,

I Think I've Cracked...

Today he started a small toddler football class in our local area, a whole year and a half since starting the 'squealing phase'.

All the other children, all his age so I couldn't blame it on that, sat nicely with their parents on the floor as they were told to by the coach... Rocky had other ideas.

He doesn't do sitting.

He doesn't do still.

He doesn't do quiet either.

Rocky, however, DOES, do loud and mischief quite well!

As he walked in he screamed at a pitch that only dogs should be able to hear but it's so loud that everybody in the room and local area winced and grabbed their ears in shock and pain. All this whilst struggling, kicking and throwing himself around to escape out of the arms of Hoff who was sitting on the floor looking mortified, it being the first time he'd taken him to a group and all he wasn't used to it.

This happened every few minutes for the entire 45 minute class.

Even when they were doing the running around games he did THAT noise out of glee rather than distress.

THAT noise that you as a parent can deal with for a few times but after the third or forth you begin to lose your hearing as the noise and the feeling of helplessness and parental failure is left ringing in your ears.

You can feel the other parents start to stare as you sit there desperately trying to reduce the noise with your hand softly over their mouth, awkwardly grinning and apologising for them.

You know inside what they're thinking though as you have done the same yourself.

'If that was my child I'd....'

You know that the first few times are forgiven and brushed off as part of toddlerness but after that it is just seen as bad parenting and not being able to control your child.

But I've tried.
We ARE trying.
So please don't look at me like that when he screams, I really can't help it!

We are taking note of all the expert advice we're given, when asked or in passing, we are doing what they say...
 
Today I felt like I cracked, it might have been the hangover but whilst sat there watching I broke down inside and a tear rolled down my face.
 
Why can't he sit still like the other girls and boys?

Kyd, Rocky, Brothers, Walk, Beach, Winter, my life my son my way

The Honest Bit...

I feel like burying my head in my pillow and staying there. Not just because in there I can't hear him as much but also because I have come to the point that I can't cope with the fact I'm now one of THOSE mums that I and everybody else, used to automatically judge without meaning to judge.
 
I try so hard to keep him happy in public to protect the hearing of those around us that I have started just letting him do the things I would never let him do at home... therefore making a rod for my own back in a freaked out attempt to save other people's sanity and ability to hear.
 
There is an element of selfishness in my actions too.
 
Without the noise and the bad behaviour, the people around me won't stare at me like I'm a bad parent and I won't go home and cry.
 
I cry at home on a daily basis at the moment as I feel so useless. I really am trying to fix him and his habit of being so god awfully loud and I really am trying to not make it worse by trying to fix it temporarily whilst out.
 
I have gotten to the point where I am giving up inside and I hate that!
 
I would rather just not take him out into public places which is something I have always gotten so annoyed at when other parents said similar.
 
To take them out and teach them how to behave in different situations is the best practice for adult life...
 I used to say
Rocky, Robin, Batman, pasta, eating, Shed Cafe, my life my son my way, 
I've lost the will to believe that though, somewhere between having Rocky and losing my hearing, I've lost my ability to parent my child successfully enough to practice what I preach.
 

Is this really a phase?

It's a long bloody phase if it is. I am praying he grows out of it though as I may have to gag him soon (I joke obviously).

I love him so much, his smile will never stop breaking my bad days and making them good. I waited so long for him to be here and I am so grateful for him being here
BUT
This is something I would change about him at the drop of a hat!
 
Has anyone got any helpful advice that isn't 'He'll grow out of it, bear with him'? Because I would bite your hand off for some 'it was the same for me' stories right now just so I don't feel like a mentalist when I sit and cry into my Dr Pepper.

signiture, my life my son my way, alice 
 

24 comments:

  1. Tired Mummy of Two24 March 2014 at 16:11

    I read this on the train over the weekend and I have been thinking about it ever since and I am afraid to say it is time for tough love. If you are feeling this way you need to stop it.

    You might not like this but if you need the noise to stop you need to teach him that he needs to stop making the noise. He is old enough to understand what you are saying to him but you need to be consistent. I always say that effective limit setting is teh way forward to rather than give children ten million rules just find the one or two that mean the most to you. With us it was no physical aggression and no tantrums. either of these two rules were broken they were immediately placed on a step, a corner, a space removed from what they were doing. consistant and explaining each time briefly. When you remove them is up to you, it can be a short time, it can be a minute, its whatever you want. Most of the time actually removing them from what they were doing gives them that connection and the time out is just added torture.

    Alison was a fighter from about 20 months, she hit out at everyone, i used to move her away, say " you must not hit" walk away and slowly count to twenty in my mind with my back turned so no attention given to her. Then I would say you can join in now.

    Most of the time it was the inability to express emotions whether happy, sad or angry it all gets built up and comes out, in Rocky it comes out as a screech, in Alison it was by hitting. some kids it biting or running off.

    My only other piece of advice is to carry around some disposable ear plugs, at least that way you can hand them out to the people around you in future :D

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  2. Tale of Peter Rabbit

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  3. I love the The Tale of Jemima Puddle-Duck :)

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  4. The tale of Peter Rabbit

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  5. Caroline bellamy25 March 2014 at 21:41

    Tom Kitten

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  6. Rachael Jones Mann25 March 2014 at 21:41

    flopsy bunnies

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  7. tale of Flopsy Bunnies

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  8. The tale of Mrs Tiggywinkle

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  9. I'm Kel Ellen Hirst on the raffle copter widget x

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  10. The Tale of Tom Kitten :)

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  11. I love The Tale of Jemima Puddle-Duck!! Its my favourite!!

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  12. The Tale of Jemima Puddle-Duck, my mum likes to remind me everytime we see a duck that I spent most of my childhood shouting at them "Hi Jemima!" lol

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  13. The Tale of Peter Rabbit

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  14. The Tale of Peter Rabbit is my favourite book, it's the first book in the series that I read when I was a little girl.

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  15. Jemima Puddle-Duck was always my favourite.

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  16. The tale of Squirrel Nutkin

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  17. The Tale of Flopsy Bunny

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  18. Mrs Tiggywinkle

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  19. Laura Pritchard26 March 2014 at 12:47

    The Tale of Miss Tiggywinkle

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  20. tale of tom kitten

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  21. The tale of Jemima Puddleduck. I loved Beatrix Potter as a little girl and living in Gloucester, I used to go to the little shop/museum where the stories were written. Its lovely! (i hope its still there, im planning on taking my daughter in the easter holidays!)

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  22. The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin

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