Tuesday, 19 June 2012

Pregnancy Diary: 19/06/12 - Name Picking Politics

How the hell do you pick a name and stick to it????

Everyone always says picking the name for your baby is the hardest decision you'll make in the whole 9 months of pregnancy, many not having made that decision by the time the baby is born. You can't pick a name that will offend family, you can't pick one on someone else's (who's already expecting) list, or one that someone's just called their baby and you can't pick one your other half absolutely hates! You also have to take into the equation that the kid has to live with it forever and that many other people won't like what you do eventually pick no matter how hard you try..... IT'S HARD WORK!! This is why people read books, think up crazy names for themselves using random words, mix their names together, follow a family tradition to keep people happy, pick their favourite character, celebrity, family member, friend or even food type!!... It can cause endless list making and arguments between parents and family members but in the end it is all about the RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH..... oh and a little bit of what YOU like of course!

Isn't it funny how we all have different opinions on names too! Some people love what other people hate. But we all associate a certain name with certain people we've known through the years. If you were bullied at school you are unlikely to love the name that your bully had and so you would avoid that name at all costs. Yet if there was a really pretty girl/boy at school that everybody loved, you would happily angle your thoughts towards that name and not rule it out. This can be hard work if you know as many people as we do though as it seems like literally every name you can think of is in the 'NO' category of the other! This can lead to extreme measures like the above mentioned 'name mixing' and 'random word selection'.... I'm not too sure about this concept!

I do think some people take the 'trying to be different' thing to the extreme. I like to be different but I would never call my baby 'Cauliflower' or 'Rainbow' they have to live their whole lives with those names! You evil, evil people lol. Imagine if Cauliflower grew up and wanted to be a lawyer.... can you imagine any sane person actually hiring a lawyer to represent them with the name Cauliflower??..... NO!! You are restricting their future and undoubtedly increasing their chances of being bullied all their life!... unfortunately this is not against the law but brilliantly these poor people have the option of Deed Poll... thank **** for that!!

So let's face it most women (and some men too) have their baby names picked from a silly young age, a bit like their wedding plans... these change from year to year adding new bits to the plan but some people really do stick to their favourite names they picked years ago, I quite like this. I was too young to have thought of names when I was pregnant with Kyd so it was hard work to decide on one. I was 16 and determined not to stereotypically pick a teen mum name and his dad was completely the opposite. Kyd's name was a last minute change from one we had picked at the beginning and we honestly thought we would stick to that name, mainly because we couldn't agree on any other name! One day though I was waddling through the town where we lived and I saw a name written down and I actually liked it... I didn't know anybody with that name so I thought I'd suggest it to his dad when I got home... strangely enough he liked it and had a story behind why he did.... that was it, we had changed the name... a few days later he was born... and here is where that story ends, as he's stuck with it now but it suits him and I'm pleased with my selection... even if it's now become quite popular! I was too one of those people who liked certain names though after that, even though I didn't think I'd have any more children I had loads picked... BUT all the names I have liked and decided on through the years, other people have used before me, so I now can't use them because I'd be fuming if they did that to me.... This is called...... Sod's Law!!

So we have had to start from scratch with this one as Hoff had no names picked pre pregnancy either... he's such a bloke!.... And where did we start... THE INTERNET!........ 'Oh Dear Oh Dear Oh Dear' is all I can say to this. What a world of random names, random concepts and random, well, everything. I became very picky with the names I liked and disliked and I began to make a rod for my own back.

Something I learnt from searching online though...... I HATE THE MOST POPULAR NAMES LISTS!
What I don't want out of a name for my baby.... is one that everybody has!!... who picks a name from the top of that list?? Why would you want your child to have the same name as 60% of the population born the year before yours?... School would then be full of kids with the same name as yours and they'd be known as 'such and such D' or 'such and such E' and this is just annoying, you might as well add the first initial of your last name to their actual name on their birth certificate now... stupid really! I mean in our generation who doesn't know someone called Dave or Dan??... lazy name picking back then I tell you!! what it is just yet!

OHHHHH one other thing that annoys me, who on earth picks the name AARON whilst using the 'Name Book' concept of picking a name??? (It's not the name I'm offended by don't worry it's the way they find it) How bloody lazy can you get?? You didn't even read the whole of the first page you opened the book and picked the first name on the first page... that is just laziness!

So this Rod I had for my back was getting bigger.... I had decided not only did I want to avoid any name on the 'Most Popular' name lists from the past 10 years but I was opposed to naming a child any name which I knew someone of the same name... or that had kids of that name.... Or any name I had heard parents shouting at their kids in the playground. Now we were stuck. Weeks and months of stress came from this. We would randomly be out somewhere and we would just shout a name at each other resulting in some very strange looks lol. EVERY NAME seemed to be taken by that bloody list or our friends, who all seem to be having babies, who had already stolen them for their new babies and like I said we couldn't name them the same name as this is wrong.... This was killing us.

We decided we wanted a name that meant something and that we wanted one that had meaning to our relationship... One day we were drifting off to sleep and I had a weird dreamy thought of a name.... one that had meaning behind it and yet wasn't on the Most Popular list AND to top it off we didn't know any adults or children with that name!! I said it out loud.... woke Hoff up in the process and he said I LOVE IT... and there we have it.... we have picked a name and we are bloody sticking to it.... But we aren't going to tell you what it is just yet!!! Just in case someone due before me steals it... bloody naming politics!

After this particular name was picked a few scary things happened about the person we had named him after, the babies due date and the way it had all come about.... But that's a different story... one you'll have to wait until he's here for. (I know some of you know already but others don't so don't spoil it!)

To Be Continued...

1 comment:

  1. My 4 youngest children names are on the most popular lists although they were picked for other reasons for us. Sophie was picked as it was a pretty girly name, and easy for a 3year old big sister to say . Ruby is Ruby-mae, mae due to (mae west) and ruby as again a pretty girlie name. Harry had 3 names and was baby boy for four days, he was going to be Finley or Oliver but everyone was calling him Harry so it kind of set lol Emily was chosen by ruby she was so excited to have a baby sister and told everyone her name, wed not even mentioned it. but that too set in rock.

    My family is huge as you know, my dad has 4 children, he was one of about ten too. My Brother has 6 children and my sister 4 so it was about getting the right balance and not stealing a name someone else has.

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