You know that feeling where everything is going too well and you know something, somewhere in your life will tilt the balance of greatness just so much for you to realise that nothing is ever that simple...... yeah......that just happened to me. I'd had weeks of normality, well as far as normality goes in pregnancy, and I was really pleased that although I was still feeling sick I had escaped any hospital visits or stays...for a whole few weeks!!
I started feeling a little breathless but I was expecting this, I'm 30 weeks pregnant. My ribs were starting to kill me, but I am carrying a baby and this is normal for my ribs to feel a little stress on them. I started to struggle to sleep because of this though...... I like my sleep and this was where the trouble started.
Every time I laid down I felt like a 50 a day smoker that had been kicked in the ribs by an elephant... so I propped myself up with pillows. This didn't work, so the next night I propped myself up even more with a bean bag and pillows... I felt like the princess and the pea. This worked better than the pillows but not very well at all... The following day I felt very rough, my back was killing me from sleeping upright, I couldn't even breathe standing up now and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep.
So after a few days of not breathing very well, not sleeping and feeling like my ribs were crushing me... I decided it might be a good time to enquire with the Midwife whether this was normal or not for pregnancy...... I'd already decided it was........ Yet the midwife decided otherwise.
So I was sent to the GP, who sent me to the hospital... Although I went to the hospital via town as I had a lunch date with the Sister in Law and I was starving so I didn't want to cancel. A GIRL HAS TO EAT whether she can breathe or not and I knew at the hospital I'd be waiting around for hours and I'd pass out through hunger by that point. I'd told the Hoff to stay at work as there was nothing he could do sat there with me and I was determined this was a load of nonsense and that I was perfectly fine so no need to panic, I'd be in and out surely...
I got a taxi to the hospital after a lovely lunch and I did feel a little more breathless by that point but I didn't think it was obvious until I was in the lift at the hospital and a nurse looked at me like I had food on my face. She said 'are you ok? you look like you're struggling' She said 'where are you going?' I said 'CDU' she said 'me too' then proceeded to hold my arm like I was a 90yr old until I got to reception. Maybe I was a little more breathless and ill looking than I'd first thought. They rushed me over to a bed.... all a load of fuss over nothing I thought... although it felt much better sitting down with my feet up.
So I waited, they prodded and poked me, then I waited again. Luckily Kyd's school have an after school club which I could send him to and then Hoff could pick him up from before 6 or I'd have been stuck. They decided it wasn't a chest infection and that baby was fine, even though my Braxton Hicks were coming thick and strong... but they were worried it was a blood clot on my lung.... A WHAT????
A blood clot?? really?? they're serious though aren't they?? They said that they needed to do tests but because I'm pregnant this wouldn't be that straight forward. They needed a specialist test so I'd have to wait for Monday... again, this is madness, It was FRIDAY, this happened here before where the specialists only worked Monday - Friday, 9-5 and anything outside of those hours would just have to wait. But there we go these are doctors and they do what they want, so I just had to get on with it.
Until the tests were done I had to return back to the hospital daily for Blood Thinning Injections... I am perfectly fine with injections, blood tests and all that jazz but these little suckers bloody hurt. They're fine when they go in but then they sting for ages after and bruise like a bugger. But they had to be done as it would stop the clot from moving around if it's there.
By the time Monday came I was still determined that there was nothing wrong with me and although the sleep deprivation, the fact that 90% of the time I couldn't breathe in more than a pea sized amount of oxygen and the pain in my ribs was slightly more like a 10 ton brick was attached to it, I was in fact just suffering from pregnancy... I am quite stubborn but I was now scared of the out come of the tests just in case. What if I did have a blood clot? What if I had to have those blasted injections for the rest of my pregnancy?... I couldn't deal with that. I had a bit of a break down that morning more because I'd had only a few minutes sleep but I just couldn't deal with all the pain any more. I put it down to hormones and sleep deprivation but it worried the Hoff. He had an important day at work ahead and I knew that so I was insistent he worked. He needed to concentrate and to me his work was more important than waiting with me so reluctantly he dropped me off at the hospital and went back home to get on with it.
I forgot that pregnancy meant it was dangerous to have an xray but there were special measures they could take to do one anyway. So I held a scarily heavy metal jacket over my belly and stood there nice and still like a good girl... I sneaked a peak at the computer after and I couldn't see anything so it eased my mind a bit. I started feeling a little bit dizzy and sick but I just thought it was because I'd been stood up. But the xray was now done and dusted and I could go back and wait for my scan.
I waited for a bit and had a quick visit from a very teary Mummy Spud who announced that I looked rough... which was nice lol. I understood what she meant as I had looked in the mirror and I did look pale & ill. The porter came to get me and as it was so far away for the scan he brought a wheelchair... sooooo much fun in those things! He was like a race car driver he was that quick Mummy Spud followed me down the corridor, wished me luck and then went back off to work. I was left to finish the race course that were the corridors of the Royal Berks with the porter who was busy telling me that the block he was taking me to was haunted. Just as he said that I looked up and on one of the signs in big letters was 'ALICE - WEST --->' with an arrow pointing where we happened to be going he said 'eeewwww spooky thats your name... someone must have known' hahahahaha he was brilliant. It was a bit weird but lovely as I'd forgotten where I was going for a few seconds.
I was waiting in the waiting room on my own after that and the ghost story had weirded me out a bit. For some reason I couldn't keep my eyes open, I'm not sure whether it was the quietness of the waiting area or the fact that I was so tired but I found myself drifting off. I woke myself up with an 'I'm not asleep' snort... it was so embarrassing I am so pleased there were no other patients in there just nurses, even if they were giggling.
They took me into the scan room and injected me with water and a very small dosage of Radiation that would be sent straight to my lung so baby wouldn't be effected but the small dosage was used just to be safe. It didn't make me feel too great when she said to me 'because you've had a small dose it'll take longer to do the scans' the seat was sooooo uncomfy and I had to sit up straight the whole time which at first was ok but after a few minutes began to really hurt!! I was there for ages. I felt so ill by the end of it I thought I was going to collapse.
I went back to CDU and they sat me in the waiting room again... within 5 minutes I had almost been sick on the old lady next to me and fallen off my chair due to dizziness. I got hold of the nurse and told her I was going to be sick and she rushed me to a bed. Turns out my blood sugar was low and I was just in need of food.... derrrrr Alice you numpty, you're pregnant, it's lunch time, you need food! They made me a sweet cup of tea and told me to stay on the bed. I had text Hoff and told him I felt rough so he came to sit with me just in case and bought me a sandwich.
Luckily shortly after the doctor came with my results.... ALL CLEAR, NO CLOT!!
Now I'm not being smug, I know they were just doing there job, BUT wasn't this what I said in the first place?? It's better to be safe than sorry I know but I was pretty sure it was just a pregnancy thing and nothing serious and now I'm covered in bruises from the injections and recovering from a full weekend of panic...
Turns out that it could just be a bug that has attached itself to my lungs and causing havoc but will go eventually in it's own time... I still can't breathe properly and my ribs still hurt but at least I know it's nothing horribly nasty.
I actually slept last night though Wuhooooo, after completely barricading myself in with pillows and being sat up but not too straight, with a slight relief that I didn't have anything horrid lurking in my lungs, I slept for more than a few minutes at a time. I woke up a few times but I slept most of the night annnnnnnd I may have slept through my alarms and was late getting Kyd to school..... brilliant parenting there Alice!! BUT at least I slept and boy did it feel good!!
Breathing and sleeping are so over rated! I can deal without them... well sort of.
Right here is my vow... I vow not to be back in that hospital until I'm actually giving birth... preferably in 9 weeks time and nice and easy, in and out jobby...
Oh and I am going to be wary of phoning up the midwife to ask questions about 'what's normal' as this leads to a scary worried voice from her and a lot of bruises and worry later I'm always fine....
Oh my final vow... I'm just going to Man the F Up for the next 9 weeks...
We'll see how this goes ay?